Why Do Women Have so Many Shoes?
If you want to know why some women get really excited about shoes, I can’t tell you. But regardless of whether women actually like shoes or not, the average woman has to have a fair amount of them, especially if they wear dresses.
I can wear the same brown Pumas all the damn time when I wear my everyday outfit with jeans, but the moment your lowerwear (pants, dress, skirt, shorts, capris) changes, odds that your regular shoes will match are slim to none.
I mean, you can see something is wrong here, right guys?
You have to coordinate hemline with boot height so you don’t look like Cotton Hill; you have to make sure the styles match, so you’re not wearing butch Birkenstocks with a feathery dress; and you have to make sure the colors don’t look funny together. To cover all your bases, you usually need a brown, black and white pair of shoes in each style (pumps, flats, sneakers, low boots, high boots). If you get any funky “cute” colors, they’ll probably end up matching exactly one outfit.
And some shoes match zero outfits.
Figuring out which shoes would go with which outfit is basically voodoo, as far as I can tell, and there’s no changing rooms at shoe stores, so it’s easy to come home with a pair of shoes and find out they don’t match shit.
Maybe a lot of these “bad combos” seem like silly nitpicking to guys, but I’m pretty sure that at least in some cases, even though the average guy couldn’t tell you what was wrong, he would feel like there was something “off” about the outfit, or suddenly feel like the girl looked stockier or more awkward.
Why Do Women Get so Upset About the Toilet Seat Thing?
A reasonable person only needs to fall into a toilet bowl once in order to hold a grudge about it.
I believe one such incident was actually the inspiration for the horror filmThe Ring.
To avoid midnight toilet surprises, you want to agree on a default position, and one way to do that is logic. Men need the toilet seat down for pooping, which is, say, 33 percent of their bathroom visits. Women need it down for both, uh, procedures. So for a typical married couple, there’s a 66 percent chance (133/200) the toilet seat needs to be down for any given visit. So if you look at you and your partner as a unit, where you both share the house and both of your needs matter, numbers seem to indicate that down is the best default position.
However, if you, as a man, are looking at your own needs alone, there’s a 33 percent chance you’ll need it down and a 66 percent chance you’ll need it up, so it makes sense to leave it up by default. So deciding to go this way kind of says to the lady (intentionally or not) that she doesn’t really factor into your decision. Now if she was asking for something really awful, like for you to spend an hour scrapbooking with her, of course it would be understandable for you to point out that her right to quality time together has to be weighed against your right to not be bored to death, and there has to be some give and take.
But this isn’t about UN-condemned torture methods like couples scrapbooking, this is about flipping a toilet seat. So if you put up a fight about it, you’re basically saying that she isn’t worth the two seconds it takes to flip a lid up and then down.
Also, come on, the toilet rim is gross.
Why Do Women Have so Many Shoes?