->New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
->Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
->Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
->The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
->Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.
->New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
->Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
->An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
->New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
->New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
->Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.
->Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
->May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
->I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
->Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
->I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
->A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
->From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
->The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.