1. Study the Kama Sutra
~“There is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying ejaculations that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer,” says Harper. She instructs men to start slowly—with no more than one“in/out” stroke every three seconds.“He should then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.” If the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and“hold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then he begins the whole process again.”
2.Get Out of Your Head.
~“Performance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an erection,” says sex coach Dr. Patti Britton, a board-certified Clinical Sexologist.“Shift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton explains that a“self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down.“When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”
3. Change things up. ~The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human sexuality expertCatherine Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches sex workshops.“Try teasing her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”
~“Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time,” says Toyooka. Sex at a slower pace leads to a more connected experience for both people.“It’s more sensual because you are caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,” she says. The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you last longer? Enjoy the journey that leads to your destination.
5. Try a different kind of exercise.
~Dr. Britton suggests exercising the PC muscles (or pubococcygeus muscle, if we’re being technical). They’re the ones that stretch from the anus to the urinary sphincter. To figure out how to squeeze and contract the PC muscles, try stopping your urine flow while you’re in the middle of peeing. You’ll know it when you try it. Three sets of 15 reps per day should do the trick. “Daily PC muscle reps help a guy to literally pump himself up. Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the penis, which in turn leads to mental confidence,” she says.
6. Practice the 7 and 9 method.
~Similar to the Kama Sutra method (mentioned in no. 1, above), Harper recommends her favorite— the 7 and 9 technique.“It’s 7 fast in/out strokes, followed by 9 slow in/out strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow,” she says.“This rhythm is good for guys who don’t last quite as long as their partner needs, and good for the ladies as it establishes a good rhythm for her stimulation too.