Love Poetry And Letters

~The first time i met you my stomach was lifted into my throat by one million butterflies & i nearly lost my shit. you caught me joking about what i would do to you if i got you alone & you laughed. i caught you watching me & laughed as well. that smile, i want to suck the enamel off your teeth some late night as we watch the city come alive. i want to watch the sunrise from balconies with you after a night spent discussing politics. i want to get under your skin. i want to listen & absorb your idea’s/ideals. i want to study the geography of your body. i want to start a revolution with you. i want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me. but what i really want is to tell you that regardless of everything, i love you. even if you never love me back… i love you. i hope that when you’re laying in bed after a night spent in some distant state or country, watching terrible tv, that you don’t feel alone. i love you.
~The first time i met you your nervous laugh made me nervous. you made me feel as though there was nothing i could say that could articulate the waves in my stomach. i was taken back by your smile & the words you spoke. you’re beautiful & it radiates from inside you. i love you & i hope i get the chance to tell you.
~Right now, you are working on your stage movement sonnet and all i wanna do is be right there with you, encouraging you and letting you know what really is inside my heart. right now, i am inside this laundry room, listening to your frustrated voice. while i don’t perse love you in a total romantic way, i care deeply about you and i do have romantic feelings. you have become one of my best friends, and this is why you don’t even know yet.
i wish that you felt the same way too. but until that day comes, i will suffer willingly and whole heartedly. just for you.
~I sometimes write poems, and when i read them later, i realize they were about you. i sometimes look at the sky, and when i feel happy seeing a flock of geese or a bright red cardinal, i think of the elation and power and happiness you bring to me. i sometimes do the craziest shit, but i always wish you were there to see. i sometimes lie down in the river behind school in the spring, and while my blood cools under the pulsating light through the trees, in a place where wind has more force and penetration, i allow your being to enter my mind, and i let it seep out into the river. it travels through the water and towards the banks, and it is now embedded in trees and grass and flowers.
you will always interest me, and therefore i will always love you. i will watch you button your shirt slowly and carefully, and that will be enough. i will see you smile when i tell a joke or say something stupid and that will be enough. i will hear you groan over some sort of unfortunate circumstance and hearing the sound of you while being invited to share in your passing annoyance, and that will be more than enough. you are everything interesting and exciting in the world. you make experiencing anything worthwhile and enjoyable. as long as you’re around, everything is right, and nothing bothers me.
i forget everything when you come into my mind.
~The night after we first spoke, i went outside and wished on the brightest star that all my happiness could be given to you so that you could feel better. i know you think wishing on stars is cliched and naive. but that’s me. in fact, i am so naive that i like to imagine that you still think about me now, three years later. i like to think that you sometimes wonder about me, sometimes wish you could tell me secrets and tell me jokes like you used to.
but even if you don’t, even if i was nothing but a blip on the grand radar of your beautiful life, that’s okay. you taught me more about myself than any other person, and in return i can only hope that you know how much i will always love you. i wish, still, after all this time, that you’re the happiest person on the planet. i wish for you love, joy and hope. not because you gave me those things. but because you taught me how to find them in myself. i will never forget you.
~i am writing to you to let you know, i have loved you for a very long time.