1. Don’t Consider Yourself a “Cougar”
The term “cougar” has a predatory connotation that women don’t want to be associated with. It gives the implication that older women are on the prowl, hunting younger men, known as “cubs”, as if they are prey. However, most women are approached by younger men, not the other way around. Labels are generally never a good idea. By not associating yourself with that term, you will erase any negative feelings toward having a relationship with a man much younger than yourself.
Men are attracted to confident women regardless of their age. This will actually play in your favor. Younger women tend to have more insecurities as they are still figuring out their place in the world, drawn to dating “bad boys” and are more likely to play games with the men that they date. On the other hand, older women are already established, are more comfortable in their skin and are finished with all the BS games they played when they were younger. This is a big reason why younger men find older women so attractive. Remember that you have a great deal to offer any man worthy of your attention, whatever his age may be.
3. Know What You Want
Before going on a first date, know what type of relationship you want. Are you interested in a fling, a committed long-term relationship or friends with benefits? If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you won’t know if the man you’re dating is the right fit. That would be like interviewing people with no specific job in mind. That’s the way young women date, and you’re not that naïve.
4. Date with No Fear
This is not your first rodeo. At this point in your life you have probably been married before, have kids or made the choice to have neither. Either way, you know that a man isn’t going to make or break you. This strength is another trait that attracts younger men to older women. It takes a great deal of the pressure off of them and the relationship. Older women aren’t inclined rush into a commitment too quickly. They continue to date other men until a relationship is established. They understand that a date is just a date and not a marriage proposal. If there’s no second date, it’s not a big deal. Your world isn’t crushed because one man didn’t call back.
If things progress into a relationship, keeping an open line of communication is essential. The two of you must talk about your expectations, needs and fears. You need to know if he wants to have children. This will be a definite deal-breaker if you’re either past the point of having children or have no desire to have kids. If children are not a deal-breaker for you, there are several options for you down the road. Also, discuss how you will handle the situation if your families are opposed to the relationship, and talk about the elephant in the room. Don’t be afraid to discuss why both of you were drawn to date someone that isn’t close to your age range. Do this when things are getting serious, not on the first or second date.
6. Don’t Assume the Relationship Isn’t Viable
Some women are afraid a relationship with a younger man won’t be viable, although this could be said of any relationship. You never know what you’re getting into until you’re in it. As long as both people keep an open line of communication and respect each other, there is no reason a relationship between an older woman and younger man can’t work out. Don’t put an expiration date on your relationship, unless a short fling is what you’re looking for.
7. Be Prepared for Scrutiny
Society is becoming more accepting of seeing older women with younger men, but there will still be some people who make “jokes” that are hurtful or eyebrows that will be raised. As long as the couple is happy and strong, it won’t matter what others think. Your family members may have issues in the beginning, but over time they too will see that the two of you make each other happy and will ultimately accept the relationship.
8. Don’t Assume He Will Cheat
As you are aging you may begin to feel insecure that he will begin to find you unattractive. If you have been together long enough for your body to go through significant changes, you should have more than a physical connection. If he’s a cheater, it wouldn’t matter how old you are. He would still cheat. Besides, he’s also aging and you could easily trade him in for a younger model as well. Don’t let him forget that.
9. Be His Lover Not His Mommy
You will have more life experience than a younger man, and with that comes a certain amount of mentoring. Younger men have more respect for older women because they are more successful and have more experience than women their own age. It can be nice to be a lover and mentor, but be careful that you don’t cross the line into “mommy” territory. If the balance is lost, the passion will die out, causing the relationship to end.
1. Don’t Consider Yourself a “Cougar”