One of the most confusing
quasi-love feelings is lust.
Lust is a very powerful,
very intense feeling of
physical attraction toward
another person. Lust is
mainly sexual in nature –
the attraction is superficial
based on instant chemistry
rather than genuine caring.
Usually we lust after people
we do not know well, people
we still feel comfortable
fantasizing about. It is very
common for people to
confuse lust for love. But
why? What is it about lust
and love that make them so
easy to mix up? If lust is all
about sex, how can a
relationship without sex be
about lust? Teens struggle
with this because they see
lust in the Biblical sense,
but lust isn’t that sinister.
Lust is about physical
attraction and acting ONLY
on physical attraction. Love
is about much more than
that. Yet many teens (and
to be fair, many adults)
confuse an intense
attraction for some sort if
divine love. For teens,
since feelings of attraction
are still new and since pop-
culture sells sex and love
as one package, it is very
easy to get the two mixed
Lust is clearly not love.
Love is based on more than
just physical attraction.
Sure, attraction is a factor,
but love goes deeper than
that. Love is based on
caring, friendship,
commitment and trust. When
you are in love it is as if
you have your best most
trusted friend at your side
AND you feel physically
attracted to them. It is the
best of both worlds! Love is
a shared feeling between
two people who have a
vested interest in one
anothers happiness. Love
is not about jealousy. It is
not about conflict. It is not
about testing. Love is a
positive feeling. If it is
tainted by mistrust,
jealousy, insecurity or
spitefulness it is not really
love but merely a pale
copy. Love is the total
surrender of your heart to
another person with the
security of knowing they
will treat it better than you
will. Love should feel good.
It should not feel bad. Love
should make you want to be
a better person, it should
not lead you to do
something self destructive.
Love is not demanding of
your spirit but lifts it and
makes it glow. Love is a
good thing. Anything less is
lust, deep friendship or
attraction. So the sappiness
aside, the question
remains, how can you tell
you are in love?
There is no easy way to
find the truth behind your
feelings or the feelings of
another person but there
are some tell-tale signs
that love is blooming (or
growing deeper). If you
agree with
7 of the
following 9 statements
you are probably in love.
1. You know, because
you have been told
by your significant
other, that your
deep feelings are
returned in kind.
2. The object of your
affections makes
you feel special and
good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel
jealous it is always
fleeting; you trust
your partner not to
betray you or hurt
your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you
feel as serene as
when you and your
partner are
5. When you fight with
your partner you
usually make up
within a few hours
and you always
agree that nothing is
more important than
you both being able
to express your
true feelings (even
if they sometimes
cause conflict).
6. Your partner never
asks you to choose
between him/her and
your loyalties to
your family and
friends – if you do
choose him/her over
them you always
have a good reason
and it is always
YOUR decision, and
your decision alone.
7. Neither you or your
partner feel the
need to test the
other’s loyalties or
8. You are more
yourself when with
your partner than
you are with
anybody else.
9. If sex is part of
your relationship it
is by mutual desire
and agreement
without the slightest
hint of commitment
testing or


60 thoughts on “HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE!

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